


I was only Human

by HiAjay



Series: I was Only Human [1]
Category: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Kidnapped Stiles, Multi, Werewolf Mates, Werewolf Stiles Stilinski, always a girl!Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1270075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiAjay/pseuds/HiAjay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was listening to Christina Perry's "Human" when I was writing this, and I'm not sorry, because I'm not sure what I really wanted to get at with this. But I hope you guys liked it! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	I was only Human

_[But I'm only human](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gugUpIOdSro) _

_[And I bleed when I fall down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gugUpIOdSro) _

 

* * *

 

Derek remembers her when his parents would bail _Uncle_ Peter from the station. Small and clumsy, loud stomping feet and sticky small hands. Her growing dark coffee brown hair tied up into two prefect pig tails. Her chubby pale cheeks with dark moles that dotted her face, it was a thought if she'd ever taken a marker to them to _connect the dots_. She wasn’t as young as she seemed, maybe three or four years younger than Derek.

 

 

He remembers growling at her once when she was getting too close, she just stared at him, her doe eyes surprised and her mouth hanging open. She then silently motioned her hands for Derek to lean down to her, his mother watching them from the corner of her eye, nudge him to please and pay attention to the small girl.

 

 

 

Derek let a small whine escape him before his mother fixed him with a stern look. So he looked back at the small child, standing there and waiting, Derek leaned down just a little, enough to meet her eyes, she stared back at him, a strong smile and the scent of cheerios and happiness dripping off her. She giggles quietly then slaps both her sticky hands to Derek's cheeks, he winced not because she's just slapped her hands on him, but because he now has whatever lollipop or Popsicle she was eating earlier covering his cheeks.

 

 

 

Derek lets out a rumble of unwantedness as he hears his mother snicker at his misfortune. They leave shortly after that, his mother still laughing because 'Der, sweetheart the face you made when she just slapped her hands to your face'.

 

 

 

It isn't the last he sees her.

 

 

 

She's older now, maybe eight or nine. Peter has gotten in trouble again; Derek and his older sister Laura are here to bail him out. The young girl sits quietly in a seat away from the crowds of people, sniffling to herself. Her hair longer now and in a very messy looking pony tail, the kind Derek see's when his father tried to do Laura's hair. Her eye are red and puffy, her cheeks are a pale rosy color with tear stains highlighting the fact that she's been crying longer than anyone here has been awake, there are dark bags under her eyes and Derek wonders what happened to that smile and the summer sweet scent of happiness he remembers. Derek feels compelled to comfort her, his wolf wants too, but Laura's already walking out the door with Peter in toe. There was something strange with Peter as well, he was quiet and almost guilty looking. He certainly smelt like it.

 

 

 

It isn't until they leave with Peter in the passenger seat of their mother's Camaro that Peter says, "They just lost the Sheriff's wife." Peter may have been a trouble maker and a bringer of havoc, but he wasn't heartless. At least not always.

 

 

 

Grief and hurt sets in Derek's heart, because he could have comforted her, he could have held her hand and taken the pain from her grieving heart. But he didn't.

 

 

 

Derek doesn't see her again, not until the night of the fire, Derek's lover torched the place with his family inside, the fire trucks were too late, and the screams of Derek's family long since died down into the low crackle of burning wood. He thinks he can hear Laura screaming, and he thinks they found Peter somewhere out by the wine cellar.

 

 

He spots her then, she's older now, guess that happens when you don't see someone as often as you think you should.

 

 

 

She's crying again, stepping out of the Sheriff's police cruiser, steadying herself against the door, hiding her mouth behind her hand, she seems as destroyed and mangled as Derek feels. Derek doesn't know how, but he ends up with her pressed to his side as the sheriff drives them to the station. Laura is riding in the passenger seat looking out the window, Searching. This girl has her hand set on Derek's, it’s a small touch but it’s comforting, the way she's circling her thumb gently over the expense his knuckles.

 

 

 

Derek falls on to her shoulder silent and without hesitation, the scent of salty tears and something the smells like coffee with raspberries is hiding under the scent of understanding and comfort. His heart clenches tightly and his breath is panted and heavy, he isn't sure what's going on, but he can't breathe anymore like his lungs are still filled with smoke and fire; there's nothing he can do. He can't even see anything but white and black blotches of shapes moving around him.

 

 

 

"He's okay! Keep driving." She shouts. Her arms are circled around his head, shielding him and holding protectively. Her cheek brushes against his temple "You're safe. Breathe." She whispers, he can feel the human warmth and the steady raise and fall of her chest. Her words coated him in human comfort, Laura can't reach him, and this human can't take pain away from him like his mother used to do, because now...his mother 'used' to do things.

 

 

 

Derek doesn't see her any more after that, he and Laura have moved to New York. Leaving Peter to be taken care of in a rehabilitation center. They get calls with updates on his health and progress, but they never return to see him for themselves. Laura makes a living from a small coffee shop, supporting them until the insurance claim kicked in.

 

 

 

Its been a few years, maybe more, they lived comfortably in a two bedroom apartment in the upper east side of NY, it was routine and normal. One night after Derek came back to their apartment from working at the college library, Laura was staring at a newspaper that was definitely not from New York. She looked up at Derek and with a straight gaze, horror painted like a beautiful canvas on her face and she told him, "We have to go back." Derek's heart almost leaves his chest when he knows she isn't kidding.

 

 

 

Laura returns first, leaving Derek behind to tie loose ends and say goodbye to the few friends he made while here. Which weren't many, after the fire Derek refused to be friends with anyone but Laura, sure he'd be nice to them, smile when he had to, compliment them and say thank you and please. But it didn't mean he had to be friends with them. He returns only to find his sister cut in half, the police are all over his old running grounds and Derek has no room to grieve or even howl.

 

\--

 

The next morning he hears something that's familiar to him, a voice or a laugh so to say. But there's two heart beats, Derek stays hidden, they must be looking for that inhaler that Derek found when he went to pick up the upper half of his sister, and bury her deep in the ground next to his old home and circled it with wolfsbane wicker. No wolf will bother her grave and no human will be able to find her.

 

 

 

The voices become clearer as they work their way into Derek's forest.

 

 

"Yeah its called lycanthropy." A female voice that is eerily familiar to him, says.

 

 

"Oh my god. That sounds bad, is that bad?" Another voice, a male. He sounds scared almost panicked, maybe her joke wasn't in good humor to him. The wind picked up and Derek caught their scents-

 

 

 

"Oh yeah, but uh it only happens once a month." She pauses for a short moment then howls. Derek has to bite his cheek to keep from returning the howl, he has no pack anymore, and if his wolf thinks this joke from a human girl is a howl from another wolf, he'll take it.

 

 

 

The girl erupts in laughter, Derek catches sight of them, the boy hits her lazily and no real heat behind it, "This isn't funny." He glares at her as he crotches down and pushes the leaves around.

 

 

The girl, she smiles and gives her nose a side swipe "I know, you're a werewolf!" She says excitedly, the boy seems to shrug her off, Derek pushes out of his hiding place and just curiously watches the two. There's a scent of medicine, mixed with raspberries, one he knows and he's not sure it belongs to either of them. The girl catches sight of him and now Derek is in trouble, he didn't intend to stand there that long, he fixed his face into a hard glare. The girl bats the shoulder of her companion and he looks up to met her then follow her line of sight, he quickly stands and now Derek has to think of something to get himself out of this mess.

 

 

"What're doing here." Derek says, because looking murderous and asking questions like he was going to kill them both was a good idea. The girl looks else where, uncomfortable and fidgety, the boy stares right back at Derek. Derek realizes that humans can hear from the distance he's standing, he walks closer, the boy gestures to something to his right looking for an answer.

 

 

 

When there isn't an answer Derek adds, "This is private property."

 

 

The boy looks guilty and a little scared when he says, "I, sorry man. We were just looking for something."

 

 

The girl looks to the boy as if she was personally offend that he dragged her into this mess. Derek nods once then tells them to get lost, maybe not like so, but the point was there. Derek tosses the inhaler at the boy, who surprisingly catches it with ease.

 

 

Derek makes quick and hides back into the safety of the tree line. He doesn't venture far, still listening to them talk in quiet mumbles.

 

 

"Dude, that was Derek Hale." The girl says almost like she's seen a ghost.

 

 

"What?" The boy answers.

 

 

"Don't you remember his whole family burned in a fire like eight years ago." That's when Derek leaves. He doesn't- wait, the only people who know Derek by his face are the ones who responded to the fire that night. But Derek won't relive that nightmare. He leaves it alone.

 

 

 

\--

 

 

 

"Now you’re telling me what to do, huh. Last time I checked it wasn't my psycho girlfriend that's trying to murder everyone we care about. Maybe you should start thinking about your lovers before you bark up the wrong tree, Derek." Stiles glares at him, with the power of an alpha behind her words, Derek is a little stuck in awe, despite being in a hospital and being chased down by a pack of alpha's Derek see's now what he's been missing. Derek's always cared for his pack, he isn't heartless, and Stiles has always been the first he'd jump to save.

 

 

Missing the chance as a child to comfort her, he's the first now to throw his hand on the blade for her.

 

 

The moment of staring into each other is over when they have to bolt through the hospital to find a way out because Jennifer wants his protection and Kali is relentless.

 

 

Stiles was supposed to be waiting in the ambulance when it happened. She was supposed to follow Peter and Isaac. She was not supposed to run back into the hospital to save him; she wasn't supposed to help him get out before the authorities got there. And she was definitely not supposed to go up to the roof and try and stop Scott.

 

 

Now she isn't here, now the image of her face, faux bravery and cutting stone features haunt Derek. The wet grutaling sound that left Stiles' throat as Kali held her claws tight on Stiles jugular rang in his ears. It happened to quickly, Scott was underneath Deucalion's feet, bleeding severely, Derek met Stiles' eyes for a second and she whispered, "Save him." Then they vanished.

 

\--

 

Its been five months. Five months, seven days, twelve hours and thirty minutes without the loud interruptions and flailing limbs that are Stiles. Derek has locked himself in his loft, warding everyone away with the stench of his guilt and misery.

 

 

If he'd known that's be the last time he'd see her, if he'd have known...Derek would have told her. He would have to tell her what the wolves around him already know, what the nosy woman and her father already know.

 

 

Derek goes back to the roof of the hospital, Stiles' scent long since washed away. He replies the scene until he can't stand seeing Stiles' face anymore.

 

 

On the twenty-third hour of day eighth day, Chris Argent shows up at his door. "Derek I know you heard me, and I know your here because your damn SUV takes up to much parking space." Chris says, his voice muffled by the large metal door. Derek sets his book aside and gets of his bed, after spending hours calling and tracking down other wolves, Derek decided to read one of Stiles' favorite books, 'Modern werewolf.' Hoping the answer will just pop out ay him if he reads it long enough.

 

 

Derek opens the door and glares at the older, tired looking man. Chris looks a little surprised that Derek opened the door, "You look like shit." Chris says. Derek rolls his eyes and tries to look less like he wants to rip this man's throat out.

 

 

"I could say the same to you." Derek answers flatly.

 

 

Chris seems to take this answer, he sighs deep and a little frustrated, he pinches the bridge of his nose and says "There's a pair of hunters that caught window of our situation."

 

 

Derek figures there has to be more attention on this 'situation' considering the sheriff's daughter(and Derek's unrequited love) has gone missing, then Chris is letting on. But considering that Chris does look like shit and frustrated as fuck; Derek assumes these are the hunters Chris couldn't convince to leave it alone.

 

 

"I've tried, but they tried to convince me they had another case to work here. There's nothing I can do, I've told Allison to keep an eye out and Scott to keep the wolves in line."

 

 

Derek let's out a growl, because he is more then capable to control his beta's, and for Chris to assume Derek isn't stable enough to do so just offends him to the highest level.

 

Chris rolls his eyes, "Don't give me that. You've been locked in this place, and none of your beta's have seen you since Stiles went missing." Chris snaps at him. "Scott sill watch out for the Beta's until you we find you mate." With that Chris leaves, Derek is stuck in place because the word mate is swimming around in his head.

 

His wolf whimpers at the thought of not having Stiles next him. Derek didn't think to much of it when he was the first to tell the Sheriff that the alpha pack took Stiles; Derek didn't think too much about when he didn't flinch when the Sheriff pulled his gun out and aimed it right in-between his eyes. Derek didn't even realize how pissed he sounded when he yelled at the Alpha of a pack in New York.

 

 

Unconsciously Derek knew Stiles was it for his wolf.

 

That night Derek left his loft and went for a run, his wolf gave a deep grieving howl, Which wasn't returned.

 

 

\--

 

 

Stiles' limbs were tired, her legs didn't want to carry her any further. Everything is so new, so loud and clear. Stiles has no idea where she is, she doesn't even know how long its been.

 

 

There's been at least four full moons since she was bitten. Maybe four months have passed, maybe less, Kali taunted her with fake moonlight before, Stiles just knows she has to get home, to her dad, to Scott.

 

 

To Derek.

 

 

But that's when her legs give out and she falls on to the warm forest floor. She hears a deep heartbreaking howl, and she whimpers because that sounds a lot like Derek. And Derek sounds like he's in pain. Stiles just whimpers until she feels the heat of a hand on her exposed back. For a short moment she believes Ethan found her, but then that hand is accompanied with a rueful voice, "Miss, hey miss. You're gonna be okay."

 

 

Stiles doesn't know if that's comforting or not, but she shuts her eyes and just prays they won't hurt her.

 

 

\--

 

There's hushed talking around her, she's heard this before, Kali must be talking with Aiden they must be planning a way to kill her off.

 

 

"Not a babe, Dean. She's the sheriff's kid." Say the voice Stiles remembers from last night.

 

 

"And you're telling me you found her naked, laying on the forest floor?" A gruffer voice asks a little disbelieving, that could be Derek.

 

 

Stiles stirs under some dingy sheets and the voices stop. "Derek." Stiles rasps out, her throat burns from disuse, "Derek."

 

 

"Uh, no. I'm Sam." The kind sounding one says, Stiles opens her eyes and she's met with two men, on as tall as a fucking giraffe, and the other that made Stiles' heart burn with hurt and want. The shorter man had a glare fixed to his shoes and stubble that has Stiles missing Derek's stupid face.

 

 

Stiles tried to get up but the tall one, who she assumes is Sam, forces her back down, "You were hurt pretty badly, you shouldn't move too much." He tells her. Stiles stares at him for a moment then realizes she was found naked. Naked.

 

 

"Whoa, okay buddy, back the hell up for a second and let me think this through before we get all touchy touchy here." Stiles rushes out, Sam backs up a few feet and the short one just stares in amusement.

 

 

"Uh, I'm sorry, I wa-"

 

 

"Shsssss." Stiles shushes him and she looks herself over and is happy to see that there is clothes on her, "Which one dressed me?" She asked as she wiggled her fingers then her toes, just to make sure they were there and they worked. They were quiet for a moment.

 

 

"Uh, I did." The tall- Sam, said.

 

 

Stiles fights the flush the tries to find her cheeks. "Okay, uh you guys have a phone or something?" She asks. The men look at each other for a second and Sam quietly hands her a phone. Stiles gives a small "Thanks." Then goes to dial Deaton's number.

 

 

He picks up on the second ring. "Animal clinic, De-"

 

 

"Deaton...” Stiles says warily, hoping she didn't have to say her name in front of strangers, strangers that smell of death, blood and chaos.

 

 

"Stiles? Is that you?" Stiles let's go of the breath she didn't know she was even holding. She sighs into the receiver of the phone.

 

 

"Yeah, it’s me. Uh, how’s everyone? And how's the weather in BH? Is Dad eating donuts?" Stiles made the codes herself; she knew they’d need them in case things as such happened, "Is the station quiet today?"

 

 

Deaton sighs, "I'll call Scott, and the sheriff. I won't call Derek and I'll have Scott head over there with your jeep. He'll take you to Derek's loft." Deaton pause for a moment, waiting for Stiles to protest about going to Derek's instead of home, but Stiles doesn't say anything. "Leave it to you to be found by hunters." He sighs.

 

 

Stiles lets out a breathy laugh, "Just my luck right. Deaton, a dog bite me while I was, uh, gone." Stiles breathes out.

 

 

"You were human enough to call me and remain human in front of hunters, I'll have to see you when you get back." Deaton said calmly, Stiles leaned back into the bed almost forgetting that there were others in the room with her.

 

 

"What hotel is this?" She asks, the shorter one clears his throat and makes eye contact, Stiles bites her inner cheek to keep from letting out a whimper.

 

 

"Madison's lounge." He says.

 

 

Stiles repeats the name to Deaton and he tells her Scott will be there in ten minutes. Stiles breaths out an okay, the. Hangs up. She hands the phone back to Sam and thanks him.

 

 

She pushes the sheets off her and fumbles as she stands up. She would have fallen if it wasn't for the gruffy one, who held out his arms to steady her. "Thanks." She says, inches away from the man’s face. He clears his throat, and looks anywhere that isn't Stiles' face.

 

 

"No problem." He says as he lets her go, careful not to rush her out of his arms, Stiles wiggles her nose because he smells like someone poured depression and something spicy all over him. Stiles gets a handle of her walking and just paces the length of the hotel room, Sam watches her curiously, while the other one just goes back to cleaning what Stiles knows is a weapon, a gun if you will. She’s spent enough time to know when someone is trying to hide them from her.

 

 

“Uh, Sam. Right?” Stiles stops in the center of the room and meets Sam’s eyes, he seem’s a little tired, he smiles at her and nods his head. “Yeah, okay, uh where exactly did you find me?” Stiles asks, because she knows she got a good distance away from the Alpha pack, she just doesn’t know how far. And she remembers being able to hear another wolf, a howl similar to Derek’s, once Stiles remembers it, her heart sinks and a quiet whimper escapes her.

 

 

She misses them, her dad, her best friend, the pack. And god damn it, she won’t lie to herself anymore, she misses the fuck out of Derek. Sam seems to notice the change in her because he’s standing up looking the slightest bit concerned. “Uh, you where just a mile out from here.” He answers her, the other one looks up and looks surprised.

 

 

Stiles knows she’s crying, she sniffles and wipes her eyes as best she can with the long sleeves of the plaid button down. But her tears just keep falling, and she feels like she’s five again and lost in the mall when her mother told her to stay put but she really wanted to see that puppy from the pet store. “Hey, Hey.” Sam tentively reaches out a hand, he places it on her shoulder and Stiles just bull  heads herself into Sam’s chest. It doesn’t feel familiar, and it doesn’t smell like ash, if anything there’s just more blood.

 

 

Stiles hiccups “I miss-” hiccup “Them. I miss them-” hiccup “So fuckin’ much.”

 

 

Sam awkwardly rests his hands on her back and Stiles doesn’t like how it feels, hates it almost. Her wolf is growling within her, and she almost gives into it until she hears that familiar tumbling engine of her jeep. She fights the urge to rip away from Sam and run out the door because she isn’t a wolf to them, she’s human, she lost, scared and frail.

 

 

She can smell Scott, she knows it’s him because he smells like her bedroom, cheetos and the underline of day old pizza. He finally knocks on the door and the gruffy one goes to answer it, when he does, Stiles pulls away from Sam and meets Scott’s worried eyes.

 

 

“Stiles!” Scott yells, he pushes past the older man and Stiles meet Scott half way. Wrapping herself around her best friend, her hands griping at what they can and holding on for dear life. “I thought we’d never see you again.” Scott whispers into her hair, Stiles buries her face into his shoulder and just nods, because words are so past her right now.

 

 

The smell of day old coffee and Allison come next, the smell of her dad’s office and old paper come in. Stiles wants to stay in the warmth of Scott, because he’s her safety right now, “You’re safe.” Scott tells her, almost like he wants to reassure himself and not Stiles.

 

 

“As touching as this reunion is, my brother and I have work to do.”

 

 

“Dean!” Sam yells.

 

Stiles pulls away from Scott and almost regrets, she smiles at Sam and wipes her eyes, “It’s okay, Thank you for uh, you know saving me.”

 

 

When Stiles meets the brother’s gaze she smiles at him, a weak and sad smile, “Thank you for everything.” Dean almost looks pained to hear her talk, but Stiles doesn’t care because Scott is here, he’s holding her, protecting her.

 

 

They leave without another word and once Stiles in the jeep and Scott is pulling out of the parking lot, Scott glances at her and says “Can I see?”

 

 

Stiles knows the color of her eyes, and she shakes her head, “You won’t look at me the same.” She says, “Take me to home.”

 

 

Maybe Scott was speeding, but who cares, she was going _home._

 

\--

 

Derek’s been gone almost two days, running in his fur around in the forest because he didn’t want to deal with the emptiness that he now _consciously_ knows is there, a Stiles shaped emptiness that just doesn’t fill itself.

 

Derek is not even to his door when he smells it, raspberries and something spicy mixed deep into it, Derek follows the scent up the stairs and to his loft door. The scent is stronger hear, like whoever owns the scent spent a lot of time with their hands pressed to the door. There’s an anxious wave in the air under the sweet spicy scent.

 

 

Derek slides the door open and there in the center of his loft, there with the setting sun silhouette of what he doesn’t want to believe is . . . “ _Stiles_.”

 

* * *

  
_I'm only human_

_and I crash and I break down_

_Your words in my head, knives in my heart_

_You build me up than I fall apart_

_Because I'm only human_

* * *

 

 

She turns around and her eyes find his, her pale skin slightly paler then before, her dark moles dotting those beautiful features, her up-turned nose, her cupid bow lips, her large whiskey doe eyes, her thin body thinner than before; she smiles at him, her eyes crinkling just slightly “Hey Sourwolf.”

 

 

Derek doesn’t even think about it, he’s on her in a second flat, he can’t, couldn’t get to her fast enough. Derek’s wrapped his arms around her middle and lifted her, Stiles has wrapped her arms around his neck and buried them both in her long hair. Hiding them away from the emptiness of the loft. Derek, taking in gulping breathes of Stiles’ scent, realizes her scent is stronger, almost suffocating.

 

 

“Yes.” Is all that Stiles says, because Derek’s wolf is happy and happy only when there are other wolves around. Stiles is a wolf.

 

 

“Who.” Derek doesn’t let her go, doesn’t want too, but he needs to know who needs to be dead within the next day.

 

 

“Kali.” Stiles answers, “Derek I- I was trying to get away, to get back to you guys. I didn’t realize how long- They kept in the dark like Bo-” Stiles stops short, her words cut off, Derek feels a cool wet patch at his shoulder, “They forced the shift and then they wouldn’t let me shift, they were taunting me and I-I wanted to come _home._ ”

 

 

The word didn’t sound like she meant her home with the sheriff, because Stiles is always here in the loft with Derek, even when Derek wasn’t home, she was, just rearranging his belongs so he couldn’t find anything, so he couldn’t stop thinking about how _Stiles_ moved this, and how now he couldn’t find anything because _Stiles_ messed with his belongings.

 

 

“It took me being kidnapped and found by hunters to realize that I love you.” It was like the flood gates just opened, Derek pulled Stiles off him, standing her in front of him, he took her face in his hands and presses his lips to hers, the warm dry feel of her lips is more than Derek could ask for, when she kisses him back is almost just as gratifying.

 

 

After a long moment that feels like forever, Derek pulls away and hears Stiles whimper, he chuckles and connects their foreheads, “Can I see?” he asks, Stiles goes still beneath him then takes a deep breath and looks up at him. Her eyes are a blazing blue like his used to be.

 

 Derek knows he can’t kill Kali, not because he’s powerless, but because Stiles now has blood on her hands, justified blood, but blood nonetheless. “I love you.” Is all Derek can say, because he knows that Stiles will think that Derek won’t look at her the same way, but he doesn’t care, he has her in his arms, her pulse and her breathing, Stiles is _alive._

 

 

Yeah, they may have the Alpha pack to deal with late, but right now, right now Derek has Stiles. And Stiles is _alive_ and _his._

 

 

Derek doesn’t care because that girl he met years ago, is grown and she’s loved him almost as long as Derek’s loved her. He’s glad that sticky hands and loud stomping feet are traits she still holds. Though her smile is brighter and larger now, she’s still the Stiles Derek will _always_ love.


End file.
